I just feel ignored, unsupported. A.’s boyfriend was much more excited about her turning in her thesis; writing on her wall, taking her out for a nice evening, generally being enthusiastic. I understand mine just got back from a trip, but some excitement would be appreciated. It is a big accomplishment, something I think everyone could understand whether or not they’re a Reedie. I like listening to him talk about himself and his recent experiences, but it would be nice if he checked in a little more with me, asked about my day. And I waited so patiently in the hopes of getting to celebrate my accomplishment with him, and now I don’t get to. I know my upcoming weekend shouldn’t be so dependent on his presence, but it is. I know how I work. I know that I will be unhappy if he’s not there. I haven’t gotten to see him much, and I was really looking forward to seeing him lots this weekend. I don’t know which he has a larger issue with, so I don’t know how I should be preparing my arguments. I really wish we didn’t have to have this talk. I wish he could just be supportive and come. I just feel like I’ve been doing a lot for him recently, and I wish he could return the favor. I drove to fucking California for the sole purpose of meeting his friends, where I knew absolutely nobody. Why can’t he come meet my friends, of whom he is already acquainted with a few? It’s really not that crazy of a weekend. At least I don’t take it that way. My bff just considered flying out for the weekend, and he’s in the same city as me and doesn’t want to come. I’m just not sure what has changed. It’s just a subtle feeling. Like he sends me hardly any impromptu texts now. I think he’s still mostly as affectionate when I’m with him. I hope he can find it in him to do this for me. I just know that if he’s not there, I’m just going to spend the whole time wishing I was with him, reaching for him, wanting to touch him. Which would suck. I wish he was more supportive of my accomplishment, shown some genuine interest in it. I know he is good at giving me attention, because he’s done it before. I guess he is busy and stressed about things. But it doesn’t take much to congratulate me a bit. I was so eagerly awaiting a hug, a smile, something. It’s still a stressful time for me, too. My world of four years is coming to an end. Everything is changing. Friends are leaving, I’m changing schools and focuses. I was hoping for a bit of support from him. I missed him. I can’t tell if he missed me.
Damn »
