It was my fucking Renn Fayre. I fucking did whatever I wanted to. I fucking finished my thesis, I deserved to celebrate. And I didn’t want you to be a part of that. Fucking deal with it. I didn’t come ruin your Renn Fayre, so leave mine fucking alone. Everywhere I go I see you. I can’t get away from you. I can’t relax and enjoy myself because you’re everywhere. Despite the fucking fact that you graduated and it’s not fucking about you. Fuck you. I don’t give a shit if my behaviors made you angry. I was going to do what I fucking wanted to. And it didn’t involve you. And I thought you were done, over this. Why then do you keep sending me stupid emails that aren’t going to get anywhere? I fucking don’t know how to fix this. Things happened. There’s no point in rehashing them, once again. I was being selfish, focusing on my needs. Excuse me. Sorry for putting myself first, for wanting to graduate on time, for being unable to deal with stressful things above and beyond my thesis and graduate school. Just fucking move out of P. already. Then I can start anew. Find a friend who understands when I’m stressed and busy and dating someone. You could have fucking asked me to come keep you company when you recovering. But you never bothered, did you. So it’s all my fault for listening too closely to you, for once. Fuck you. I don’t care if you’re angry. I had a shitty Renn Fayre anyways, hope you’re happy. I’m doing what I need to do. And that’s what I was doing. I didn’t want to interact with you. Take a fucking hint. How am I supposed to fix things when you’re constantly angry with me? Why would I want to be friends again with someone who’s mad at me? Sounds like a great way to start a friendship: one person’s already mad at the other. We’re never going to get anywhere if you keep bringing up the past. Why does it matter so much? Why does everything need an explanation? My gut said “avoid him”, so that’s what I did. Don’t think about him, because it makes you upset. I was doing something for myself. Fuck you for getting angry about that. Fuck you for getting angry about me trying to have a good time without you. Why do you want to talk about this in person? You know how well that went last time. You know me: I can’t have emotional conversations in person. I either burst into tears or become tongue tied and unable to express myself coherently on the spot. None of those would be very productive.
